The Death of me
by fictionpress1213
Summary: What happends when Christian is faced with a problem, that sex or money can't fixed? He has to face it head on with Ana. Will they survive it?
1. Chapter 1

**Yet another new one. Tell me watcha thinks guys, like it? Please comment dont be afraid to be blunt and brutal, it will help me. Hope this is an easier format for you guys to read, as well as my other stories. :)**

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Heading into my bed room I fall to my knees. Hearing it was unbearable, and telling Christian its goanna kill him. MY fifty shades who has been through more than enough can add another shade on after this. I don't know what to do, how to say it, how will he react. I take off my dress and lie on the bed staring at the ceiling at quiet tears fall from my face onto my hair. My mind is fogged, I'm not concerned about me, I just need him to accept this. I need him to. That call to Dr. Green's office was unexpected, and coming out of her office changed me. There's so many things I wanted to do, places I wanted to see, and with this I know my life will change. I know Christian will be even more over protective. As I hear the door open and close I know it is Christian. I know it is time. I glance at the clock at it is eight PM. I've been lying here all day for five hours thinking. I've been paralyzed by my shock of news and now it's time to face Christian. Slowly I get up and walk down the stairs. Heading into the great room I see Christian taking off his jacket while talking on the phone.

"Yes. Seven on my desk tomorrow." His eyes' are glued on me as he talks, and he has a big smile plastered on his face. I'm so torn that I'm goanna be the one to take it off of him.

"Okay, I need to go now. I have something in front of me that I need to get to." I see the sex gleam in his eyes, and I know after my announcement he won't have that gleam anymore. He hangs up and strides to me. He sucks lightly at my lower lip before biting it and holding my waist firm in place. "Hello Baby. I have a surprise." He lets go and holds me at arm's length but suddenly he changes his reaction when he see's tears falling down my face.

"Ana wh… what happened are you okay?" He eyes me warily as I just ignore his question and sit on the couch tears still fall from my face. This has to be the most silent cry I ever did. My heart is pounding and dreading the moment when I will have to tell him.

"Christian. I love you so much. I, I just need to tell you something really bad, and I want you to know no matter what happens I love you so so much. I need you to be okay and accept this." He frowns and kneels in front of me.

"Baby what's wrong your scaring me now?" I inhale deeply and hold his neck as I pull him to me and kiss him lightly. Pulling away I rest my head on his forehead.

"This is goanna change everything. But I need you to be strong baby okay for me. I need you to be okay with this, I need it. Christian I need it. I need you to know that you are the only man I've ever loved, that I will always love you no matter what, I need you to know how happy you make me, and how love I feel, and how I feel with you. You're the best thing that ever happen to me."

He pulls his fore head from mines and places each of his hands on either sides of my face. "Babe hurry up and tell me, this isn't funny. What's wrong Ana? I know you love me and I know you know I love you now tell me baby what happened?" I close my eyes and lean in his touch, I don't know if he will think that after what I tell him. With my eyes closed and my hand on his forearms while his hands are still places on my face I whisper, "Promise?"

I can see him intake a sharp breath and his face filled with worry. "Baby I promise."

Inhaling deeply I gather all my strength left to tell him the one thing that will change our lives drastically.

"Christian… I have cancer."


	2. Chapter 2

**And here is chapter two. I love the comments and support as always they make my day. Until next time...:)**

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He stood in front of me almost lifeless. The blood drained from his face, his grey eyes turning dull staring at me blankly.

"Cancer? Your joking right, I mean there's has to be something I can do, how much?" I smile, at how he thinks money can fix anything. He's now standing in front of me tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Why are you smiling Ana? You just fucking told me you have cancer, what am I supposed to do, baby I can't lose you, please tell me I can fix this, tell me we will be okay." I get up and take his face in my hands. I concentrate on staring gin his eyes trying to assure him that everything will be fine.

"Baby I can't tell you everything will be okay because I'm not sure. Luckily I'm in stage one so there is a chance that I will get better but we can't rely on that Christian. We have to face the fact that I might be leaving earlier than expected," He turns away as I say this but I quickly turn his face back to me and wipe the tears coming down his face with my thumbs, "Hey, look at me. You're not losing me just think of it like we are taking a vacation. I'll always be yours no matter what and you know that. I know we might not have enough time, but we will get through this, and you are goanna be strong, for me."

He pushes his weight of his face on my hands and sobs. "I can't deal with that Ana, I can't live without you, I'll just end up following you, there is no reason for me to live." I pick up his head so he can look into my eyes.

"Hey don't talk like that. You have many things to live for you have a family, and people who love you Christian that's what you live for. Don't talk like that to me it's my time to go unfortunately but not yours. You are goanna live a strong healthy life, eventually you are goanna find someone else, maybe even have some kids, and you are goanna be a wonderful husband and father some day. Don't tell me you are going to follow me, or I'll just have to haunt you." I try to lighten up the mood but he just starts pasting.

"Anastasia you know I can't fucking live without you! Why do you see this as a joke. I love you, ONLY you there is no one after you Anastasia NOONE! It's just not fair, why you? Why not me, you did nothing wrong!" He picks up a vase and throws it at a wall causing a million of pieces to shatter to the ground.

"Christian baby please look at me. This is not your fault, life is like that sometimes, I know it hurts it's killing me, I don't want to leave not now not ever, I want to be with your forever. I'm scared as hell Christian I'm 22 and I might have only a year left. But I can't do anything only make the best out of it, please accept it." He stops and glares at me like I've just slapped him in the face. I can see the hurt and anger in his eyes.

"ACCEPT IT? You fucking expect me to except the fact that you are dying and I can't do shit but just watch? That's fucking impossible we both know without you I'm dead. I can't live without you, do you get it Ana? You are the reason for my happiness, before you I had nothing, I was meant nothing you showed me I was and changed e and now I'm supposed to let you die? What if the roles were reversed how would you act?"

I don't even want to imagine how I would feel if the roles were reversed. I would maybe die; kill myself before I'd have to endure the pain of him being gone.

"I understand Christian. God dammit I understand. But you can't say stuff like that because it makes me feel more fucking guilty that I have to go. Take in account how bad I'm feeling. I dreaded telling you because of the fact that I knew how you would react, I knew you would tell me this. I don't want you to die, Christian you are healthy and strong and when I leave I would expect you to stay that way, no matter how hurt you are. Do it for me. I know the situation is fucked up but we can't do shit about it, neither of us. All we can do is hope I get better, and spend as much time together as we can. I don't want to fight not at all, I want you to take me in that room Christian Grey and make love to me while we still can."

As if my words were magic he ran to me and picked me up while laying his lips on mine. His kiss made all the hurt vanish, made all my pain disappear, it was just me and him. Time was running out and we were savoring the moments we had with each other. As he kissed me I can taste the saltines of his tears and mine. As my legs wrapped tightly around him and I hugged him with dear life I whispered in his ear,

"I love you Christian, never forget it. Never forget that I love every part of you, your past, the need for control, and your scars. It's why I fell in love with you, I will love you till the day I die and forever more."

As we made love all night and fell asleep silently crying in each other's arms I suddenly woke up from an overwhelming hotness. I open my eyes to find as always my fifty sprawled out on top of me. I smile silently thinking how much I will miss this. I need to do something, something to give him some condolence when I'm gone, something to keep him going. As I get up from the bed careful not to wake up my beautiful man, my attention quickly goes to my camera laying on the bedside and I take it and head to the foyer.

Setting up the camera I quickly press play and sit on the couch in front of it.

"Hey baby it's me. If you're seeing this video which I hope you never have to, it means cancer has taken its full affect on me. Today's the day I told you I have cancer, if you can remember it. We made love all night. I woke up to you attached to me again with your ever so big boner. I just thought I'd do a little something for you. I know right now you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest. You feel like you can't go on, a lump is probably forming in your throat right now, you want to touch me again feel me. Baby I know, but I need you to stay healthy and strong. I don't know much about what happens when you die but be sure if I see you not taking care of yourself I'll come and kick your beautiful ass into shape." I smile softly at the little joke.

"I'm dreading tomorrow and the days to come knowing you are probably going to be searching like hell a cure for cancer," I roll my eyes and smile, "Well on the Brightside I'll be getting away with a spanking from you. You can stow that twitchy palm down grey. Listen baby, I know it's hard on you, you're probably in bed, letting the empire you worked so hard fall falling to the grown, you're probably not eating not bathed, you haven't shaved either. Although I find you sexy any way, and the thought of you with stubble is making me horny as hell, you need to get your ass up a get your stuff together. That is an order grey; you know how you feel about food, and hygiene. Think of me while you're in the shower, while you're in bed, when you are working, I'll always watch over your baby." I smile as I get an idea that will probably make him smile. Quickly I flash him my boobs in the camera.

"You're probably missing the twins babe might as well see them when they are healthy. Now that should be more than enough motivation for you grey. I love you and hope you have a great day baby." I smile quickly and turn off the camera. I hope he will never have to see these but I need to prepare. One a day can be good enough for him. It's the only way I can ensure some comfort for him. I don't know what will happen to me and as much as I hate dying the biggest problem at hand is how Christian will handle my death.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry i havent paid attention to this storie in a while. I promise to fix that. Enjoy this new chapter, i know its cut short but bear with me guys. Until next time...

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I wake up to an obscene amount of yelling, and smashing of things. What the hell? I glance to my side and see that Christian is yelling. I get out of bed and head down stairs. When I enter the foyer I see grace there trying to comfort Christian and the video camera on the table. There is glass everywhere, and Christian is hysterical.

"Baby what's wrong?"

He glance up and his face is red, with tears falling.

"WHATS WRONG? Why the fuck would you make a video like that Anastasia? Huh? You're not going to fucking die, I won't let it. I've talked to so much people and they told me that 99 percent of people with breast cancer in stage one DO NOT DIE. You ARE goanna be a part of that percentage. So there is no need for a video like that!"

God I forgot to put it away. Obviously he will be curious as to why the camera is all of a sudden by my bedside table when it is never there.

"Christian I know that, but there is always a possibility and we have to prepare for a different outcome…"

"NO! No preparing, there is only ONE outcome. Your living Anastasia, I don't give a fuck what I have to do, I don't want to hear you even mention that possibility. You are goanna live a long life with me."

I walk to him and stand in between his legs as he buries his face in my stomach. I rub his hair and try to relax him but he is still sniffling. His hold on me is tight, and he is kissing my stomach.

"I can't lose you baby. I can't I just can't."

I risk a look at grace who has tears rolling down her face.

"Ana he is right. We will not let you die, there's actually a big chance at you living and poor chance of you dying."

I smile and kiss the top of Christians head, and inhale his scent. I know that there's a big chance I can live, but what if we are riding on that hope of me living and I die? What happens then if we aren't prepared for it?

"Listen I know I can live. But just think what if? I know there are many people who survived it, but there are also people in stage one who didn't survive. What if I'm one of those unlucky people? We can't trust percentages; we have to prepare for both outcomes, just in case."

Grace smiles sadly and puts her hand on my shoulder, and her other hand on Christians back.

"We will get through this Ana. I will make sure you are one of the 99 percents." She turns and walks out of the house.

Christian is still sobbing in my stomach, and I feel responsible.

"Babe, come on relax. Let's go run a hot bath, and soak in there for a while."

He lifts his head from my stomach and smiles.

"I love you so much Anastasia. You are my life."

I kiss him lightly and grab his hand as we enter the bath. The water is warm, and the Christian is rubbing the body wash on my back, while I just relax. I lift my leg out of the bubbles and tease him a little bit.

I can hear him moan, and his erection grow.

"Enjoying the show Mr. Grey?"

"Oh most definitely." I smirk turn to face him and lay my head on his chest.

I can tell he really isn't in the mood for sex; he just wants to be here in the moment with me. He really is hurting which is making everything harder. And the fact that I have a big secret to tell him won't make anything better.

When I went to see Doctor Green, she didn't only inform me on my growing tumor in my breast and recommend a doctor to me. She also informed me on how the last shot failed and how I'm pregnant.

That's' why I'm so worried I won't live. She said it will be very hard to be pregnant and have cancer because the baby will interfere with the amount of dosages of medicine I will need to take. It will interfere also with the kind of medicine I will need to take. They can't be so strong because that will hinder the baby.

The worst part is if I die, there's a 99 percent chance the baby will die too. Christian will not only loose me but his child. I don't know how he is going to take this news, but I know I will have to tell him sooner or later, because at the doctor's appointment tomorrow I don't think he will be to happy to be just finding out that he is going to be a dad.


End file.
